Recently, I've had two current fears that I've been struggling with for the past two months. As a result, these fears brought me more stress, discouragement, and frustration in my life. Isn't it ironic how the roadblock that stops one the most is sometimes our very own self? After acknowledging my fears in a healthy manner by talking it out with friends, I've come to the realization that it's totally acceptable and normal to admit that you have fears. From there, the most important thing that you can do for yourself is to not let your fears get in the way of living your life to your fullest potential.
Today, I wanted to share my two recently discovered fears with you guys because chances are, maybe we are on the same boat and share the same fears! And don't ever be scared to share your fears with a close friend - admitting that you have fears is completely normal. Also, be sure to never let your fears take over or else they may permanently hold you back from what you want to do in life! Stay in control, own these fears, and you will be happier knowing that obstacles aren't getting in the way of you or your life.
Fear #1: Failure.
Recently, I've felt that my audience engagement, number of likes, and number of followers on both my lifestyle blog and Instagram has not been growing as fast as it used to. The success of a lifestyle blogger is not directly measured by numerical statistics such as follower count and page views, but it is a good indicator of your progression and overall work. This made me contemplate - am I doing something wrong? Have I failed as a blogger? No! As long as I am being my true self, I am not doing anything wrong. But you see, the problem here was nobody told me that I have failed...but myself. This is when I realized that my fear of failure existed only because I made it exist.
Not only did I fear failure to this current day, but I was also scared of the idea of failing years from now. Ideally, I wanted lifestyle blogging to be a full-time position that supported me both financially and emotionally. However, turning this field into a stable career is way harder than it looks and accepting this hardship represents my current struggle. As I continued to manage my lifestyle blog and various social media channels like I have been for the past several months, I told myself that as long as I am passionate about my work, I will succeed...right? Wrong. Passion may act as the fuel to drive you to your end destination, but what about the accelerator? Admitting that I am passionate lifestyle blogger versus actually being a successful lifestyle blogger lies on two very different ends of the spectrum. There are so many other factors that I didn't consider to help me reach my end goal, such as patience and hard work. It's times like these where I need to calmly remind myself that nobody becomes a top Youtube star or full-time blogger overnight - it takes hours, months, or possibly years to grow your profile and work with high-end brands. I need to be patient and cherish the brands I currently work with as I grow my brand. Now, my end achievement isn't to rise to Instafame because in the end, being famous won't make me happy. My end goal is to inspire people to be happy, to lead fulfilling lives, and to chase their dreams (as cheesy as that sounds, hah). Currently, I have had a few friends and strangers tell me that I have inspired them to start a blog and it warms my heart to hear such positive feedback. After all, the ones who make it big (or at least the ones I respect) are the ones who showcase their genuine personality and do their own thing. One day, I'd like to do the same.
So from here on out, I just have to tell myself to go with the flow and to keep working on my passion with patience. With time, I will gradually attract an audience who loves and respects me for what I do, however unique, weird, and silly I may be.
Fear #2: Societal Pressures.
Going into lifestyle blogging, I have never let the opinions of others bother me until recently. Before, I brushed off people's negative opinions and comments regarding the blogger lifestyle but quite recently, I have grown more sensitive to these remarks and I'm not sure why. Degrading questions such as "Why would you throw away your Biology degree?" and snooty remarks such as "Oh, I need to pay the bills so that's why I'm not becoming a lifestyle blogger" insulted me more these days than they should have.
After experiencing the post-grad life for two years, I've learned a lot about our society - how a lot of people will stick with jobs they hate just because it pays the bills. And I can't ever imagine myself working in a field that I strongly detest. I mean, what's the point of living life if you are working in an uncomfortable environment that you cannot stand for the majority of your working days?
I am the type of individual who will go against society's norms if it means being happy and doing what I love. One important reminder that I need to constantly tell myself is not letting people's opinions get the better of me. It's an inevitable fact - there will always be people out there who will disapprove or dislike your work for whatever reason. However, what truly matters are the individuals who support your passion and help you grow. Nobody ever said this journey would be easy. Struggle after struggle and obstacle after obstacle, I'm destined to come out of this journey as a stronger and wiser individual. And one day, I know that my dream will become my reality.
Top: Papaya Clothing | Bralette: IWearSin | White Distressed Jeans: Wild Blue Denim & Rue 21 | Flash Tattoos: Flash Tattoos | Wedges: Nine West